For the past week or so I have been reading and following "Draw the Circle, The 40 Prayer Challenge" in the Circle Maker series. If you aren't familiar with the "Circle Maker" book, it is about circling your God given dreams and promises in prayer. When I started it I had no clue what I was to draw a circle around. Sure I have needs and desires that I want God to supply and bring to fruition but I wasn't sure if they were my own desires and dreams or if they were God's. Being unsure but knowing that they weren't bad or sinful dreams I started circling them in prayer. Perhaps the first few days were tentative but the more I prayed the more confident I became. As each day went by I noticed that my circle was getting bigger. One day a person that I came in contact with at work became part of my circle. Then a lady asked me to pray for her children and they made their way into my circle. Then I came in contact with another person and another person. Before I knew it my circle was more about others than about me. Last night I noticed that I managed to put my own personal desires at the very end. This morning, before the fog of sleep was fully out of gone from my mind I found myself praying. My prayer that my heart was crying out was "change me." Change me so that I see the need and I allow the Holy Spirit to flow through me to minister to that need. Change me so that when financial short falls happen I know without any doubt that you are my sustainer. Change me so that I don't see my short-comings but your anointing. Change me so that I see your limitlessness resources and not my limited ones. Change me so that I see your mercy and grace and not my failings. Change me so that I can live above offense. Change me so that I become a doer of the Word and not just one that lives in the realm of "I wish I could". Change me so that I live in the power of the Holy Spirit so that the lame can walk and the blind can see. Change me so that people see Christ in me. Change me, Lord.Change me so that it is no longer about me but all about you.
I think I know the God-sized dream I am suppose to circle. The dream of being changed. A dream of fulfilling the calling and anointing that God places on those who are willing. A dream of being a vessel that God can use to minister to the hurting, scared, lonely and the desperate. A dream of being a living testimony. A dream of allowing God to freely move through me. I am certain that on day 41 or on day 536, I will still be circling this dream of being changed to be more like my God and Savior.