My Mourning

"Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication. Attend unto me, and hear me: I mourn in my complaint and make a noise:" Psalm 55:1-2

I have not written much for the past six months as there has been a deep spirit of mourning and grief hanging over me that I have not been able to shake. It seems that God desires that I go through this grieving time with little intervention from Him. I cannot say that He has been silent but He has been very quiet during my times of emotional agony. He has provided guidance through a word aptly spoken by a minister or friend. Just when it seems that the last flicker of hope is about to be extinguished, a song will come to mind. At the times that I am so consumed in my despair and mourning, my eyes are opened to those who have nothing AND don't know Him as their hope. Like I said, He hasn't been silent but He hasn't taking me out of the storm just yet either. If I am completely transparent, I have an inkling as why I am still here grieving. It isn't comfortable being transparent with ourselves let alone with others but if we want Jesus to shine through us then we HAVE to be transparent. It is through this time of hurting and sadness that God is helping me to remove things from my life that hinder His Will and Plan for me. It is through the stripping away unforgiveness, bitterness, anger and offense that He is molding me into His image. It will be through mourning, letting go and burying the last of the "what could have been" that I will find myself in God's Perfect Plan. So until I have mourned and wept my last, I will stand on God's promise: The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart... Psalm 34:18

Busy Waiting

As a parent, I have had a lot of experience waiting. There are two types of waiting with children – one is mental the other is physical. The mental version of waiting – waiting for them to eat real food, waiting for them to start walking, waiting for them to start school, waiting for them to gain a little independence, waiting for them to move out, waiting for… Then the physical kind of waiting – waiting for football practice to end, waiting for the school program to start, waiting for them to get done visiting with their friends, waiting for…
 

Waiting in our Christian walk is basically the same – the physical side – waiting for healing, waiting for financial blessing, waiting for… The spiritual side – waiting for God to speak, waiting for direction, waiting for peace, waiting for joy, waiting for…

In all of these cases we are actually waiting FOR something – either the start of something or the end of something – we aren’t waiting just for the sake of waiting. In every instance of waiting there is a kernel of faith because you cannot actually wait for something if you do not believe that it will come to pass. So the question isn’t what are we waiting for but how are we waiting and what are we doing during the waiting time. Is our waiting filled with impatience, frustration and idleness? Or do we wait with joy, peace, faith and action. While waiting for my children’s functions many times I would take a craft to do or a book to read. It kept me occupied and I found that I had an easier time waiting with patience and without mounting frustration. So why should waiting for God to answer a prayer, give us direction or bring his plan to fruition be any different. Will my waiting for God be filled with the attitude of, “if it’s meant to be it will be” or with the attitude of, “God, what can I do to be best prepared for your blessings when it is time?” One thing I don’t want to do is fill my “waiting” time doing things that will keep God’s best plan from working (since we have a choice, it is possible for us to do that). Sometimes we do things to “tide us over” but when waiting for God it is unnecessary and may keep us from being eligible for that “best plan.” So we should be very cautious with HOW we wait for God’s answer/blessing/plan.

Hebrews 10:36

36.    For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.