Thursday, April 21, 2016

My Mourning

"Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication. Attend unto me, and hear me: I mourn in my complaint and make a noise:" Psalm 55:1-2

I have not written much for the past six months as there has been a deep spirit of mourning and grief hanging over me that I have not been able to shake. It seems that God desires that I go through this grieving time with little intervention from Him. I cannot say that He has been silent but He has been very quiet during my times of emotional agony. He has provided guidance through a word aptly spoken by a minister or friend. Just when it seems that the last flicker of hope is about to be extinguished, a song will come to mind. At the times that I am so consumed in my despair and mourning, my eyes are opened to those who have nothing AND don't know Him as their hope. Like I said, He hasn't been silent but He hasn't taking me out of the storm just yet either. If I am completely transparent, I have an inkling as why I am still here grieving. It isn't comfortable being transparent with ourselves let alone with others but if we want Jesus to shine through us then we HAVE to be transparent. It is through this time of hurting and sadness that God is helping me to remove things from my life that hinder His Will and Plan for me. It is through the stripping away unforgiveness, bitterness, anger and offense that He is molding me into His image. It will be through mourning, letting go and burying the last of the "what could have been" that I will find myself in God's Perfect Plan. So until I have mourned and wept my last, I will stand on God's promise: The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart... Psalm 34:18

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