Have you ever noticed that a heavy load seems to draw your focus more strongly than a beautiful scenery? A sad event draws your concentration more fully and for longer than a joyful happening. It seems that in this life grief lasts longer and is deeper than happiness. I am not sure why this happens but I know that this has plagued me for several years now. Perhaps it is because of an empty nest, or because of the change of life, or because of a medical issue but lately I have not been finding much joy in my journey. It seems that my journey is instead filled with sadness, frustration, paralyzing depression, fear and anxiety. This is not something I have chosen nor do I wish to stay in this state but all my efforts to be free of this has been in vain. I have not been able to volunteer nor socialize my way out of this darkness. Medication has helped but only to an extent of being able to cope and function with the darkness. Sure I can find humor in the silly and laugh at that puniest of jokes but underneath the laughter and smile is a deep sadness. I can be friendly and kind but I don't really engage and can't seem to build a true friendship/relationship. I dislike the way that I feel and I have prayed for healing and balance but it hasn't yet come.
Last evening as I was driving through my hometown for my 2nd job, I was struck by the sadness and despair that runs rampant through some neighborhoods in my hometown (and I am sure that this is true for your hometown too). I started praying for the communities that I was driving through and asking God to bring hope, healing, opportunities and revival to these neighborhoods. As I was praying I was struck by the irony of someone who is in a very dark place praying for light for those around me and I felt like God was telling me that this exact burden would be my way out of the darkness.
Isaiah speaks of how we fast and pray yet we do not see the hand of God move. Verse 3 says, "Wherefore have we fasted, say they, and thou seest not? wherefore have we afflicted our soul, and thou takest no knowledge?" Our whole concentration is usually on what we are missing, what we have laid aside and what trials we are surrounded with. We hold tight to the scriptures that promise us no burdens or at least very light burdens. We like to quote, "Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." or "Cast all your care on him; for he careth for you" I think we get so tied up in our own burdens, our own trials, our own short-comings and how we want God to help us to live burden-free and care-free that we fail to see or take on His burdens and His cares.
In verses 6 &7 he says, "Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?" As I was driving I felt like God was telling me to take my concentration off of MY darkness and instead be burdened for and prayerfully concentrate on the neighborhoods in my hometown that are filled with darkness and despair. When I lift my neighbor in prayer and lift the burdens of the least among us is when God will answer when I cry. Verse 8 says, "Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy reward." The answer to my deliverance (and yours) from the darkness is tied closely with prayerfully lifting others out of their darkness and taking on God's burden for our world.
