Several years back I went through a dark time of depression. A time of being barely able to function. I went to work, only because I needed to and then came home and either went to bed or plopped myself in front of the TV and stared at it aimlessly. I went through this for so many years that I think my friends and family were just "over it" and wanted me to suck it up and put on a happy face. It was 4-5 years of horrible isolation. My family's wordless exasperation at my inability to "get over it" only seem to feed my feelings of guilt at not being able to "get over it" to "suck it up" and caused me to have an almost paralysing fear at venturing out and seeking company. The judgment was too much to bear. When I did venture out, I still felt isolated because I had to fake being happy so that I didn't get the eye-rolling and the pity. Mostly, I didn't venture out. I stay isolated within my four walls while living in fear of never getting better. Frightened that the next several decades of my life would be lived in mental/emotional isolation, if not in physical.
Then something happened. I was getting an elephant ear at a food truck and a young man gave me a church card. After many months, God led me to visit this church. It was like no church I had visited before. These people of God loved me through it. There wasn't any judgment when I couldn't face people. There wasn't the comments of, "you shouldn't be missing church" (as if I didn't know that) or "where have you been" (as if I didn't feel guilty enough about not being able to get out of bed to show up). They just loved me. They let me cry when I needed to and to be involved to the extent that I was able. Slowly, (read VERY slowly) the fear lessened and the feeling of isolation started lifting. They had faith for me when I didn't. They believed and prayed for me when I felt to weak and fearful to believe and pray for myself.
Now nothing has changed except everything. I am still alone a lot but not in isolation. I probably am alone more now than I was before but not because of fear, lonliness or feeling of overwhelming isolation. Now I am alone but active, busy and engaged. I have even got a plot at the community garden this year and look forward to visiting with and ministering to those in my community. Now when I am alone it isn't a matter of isolation but seclusion. Now I seclude myself for a bit of privacy, alone time with God and to rejuvinate so that I can become the one who loves others through it.
And it all started with a visit. A young man visiting with me in line at an Elephant Ear stand and then a visit to a church.
That is the way God works. After the crucifixion the disciples and followers of Christ had isolated themselves out of fear. They locked themselves into a room out of fear of being the next crucified. They didn't let anyone in without seeing who it was first. Then Jesus showed up and visited with them. He didn't even come through the door, he just showed up in the room. They even thought Him to be a ghost so he showed his hands/feet and even askef for and ate poached fish and honeycomb to prove to them that He was indeed Jesus. (Luke 24) After that visit with Jesus, the isolation that had the disciples bound changed. Now instead of fearful isolation, they were in the temple praising God. The only time they secluded themselves was while waiting on the visitation of the Holy Ghost.
If like me, you find yourself feeling isolated, fearful and alone. Push through a little and visit a church or at least a follower of Christ that will love you through it. If you only have the strength to whisper Jesus, then whisper it. If you try to pray and can only cry because your heart and mind is too overwhelmed and the words will not come, just cry. Don't give up! Don't allow fear to keep you from allowing God to visit you. Just keep seeking him, even if it isn't up to the standard that others think you should. Allow God to love and visit you.
If you are the church or the body of Christ and someone comes in with a whole shipful of baggage. Just love them through it. Are they missing church and ignoring your calls? Send them a hand-written note and love them through it. Are they making poor choices? Love them through it. Do not add to their baggage by judging them for missing. Do not cause them to give up because they aren't doing everything right. Do not criticize them or gossip about them because they can't seem to "suck it up" and "get over it."
Just Love Them Through It!!
