Ashamed

Ezra 8: 21-23

21.   Then I proclaimed a fast there, at the river of Ahava, that we might afflict ourselves before our God, to seek of him a right way for us, and for our little ones, and for all our substance.

22.   For I was ashamed to require of the king a band of soldiers and horsemen to help us against the enemy in the way: because we had spoken unto the king saying, The hand of our God is upon all them for good that seek him; but his power and his wrath is against all them that forsake him.

23.   So we fasted and besought our God for this: and he was entreated of us.

Have you ever spoke The Word that God told you?  Or proclaimed a promise that God made to you?  You know that you know that you know that it was a Word from God or that He did indeed make a promise but then you become ashamed or embarrassed?  Have you made a stand for that which is right but then because God doesn’t show up when you thought he should you become embarrassed or ashamed.  I know that I am not alone in having those feelings because Ezra had the same embarrassed feelings.  Ezra had the responsibility of getting a large group of people along with silver, gold and precious vessels to Jerusalem.  The silver, gold and precious vessels alone would be valued about $20 million today; this was in addition to the personal treasures and belongings of the travelers.  When Ezra spoke to the king, he assured him that God would protect them and take care of those that were seeking God.  He spoke with confident faith that God was indeed on their side.  But then they reached the river that runs to Ahava and he viewed the people.  Perhaps it was when he felt the huge responsibility settle on his shoulders of leading the people back to Jerusalem, along with the highly precious cargo, that a bit of doubt crept in.  Perhaps he realized that the frailty and powerlessness of his humanity and that only God could keep the people and their substance secure.  He knew that God had called and sent him to Jerusalem, and he had spoken to the king on the confidence of that word from God.  As he surveyed the people and substance, he started feeling a bit foolish and thinking, “What if God doesn’t protect us?  What if we get robbed and/or murdered on the way?  Then people would say that our God couldn’t even protect us.  People would believe our God to be weak and not the God of all heaven and earth, even though I know that He is.”  Perhaps God had already intended to protect them from those that sought to rob or attack them, but Ezra needed assurance.  I feel like Ezra was telling God, “I made a stand for you so I need you to fulfill that which I spoke on your behalf.  I told the king that your hand would be on your people for GOOD and that your wrath was on those that forsake you, so I really need you to make it so.”  God did answer their prayers and supplication and fulfilled all that Ezra had spoken to the king.

How many times have you felt foolish on God’s behalf?  We spoke the Word that we KNOW God spoke to us.  We proclaimed the promises that He gave.  We prophesied that which he put in our hearts but then when the prophesying moment has passed we perhaps feel a bit foolish.  Not because we believe what we said to be untrue but we know that we can’t MAKE it happen and if God doesn’t follow through then we will be left holding the bag.  I know that I am no better than Ezra; there are times I have spoken that which I KNOW to be the Word of God.  I have shared the vision and proclaimed the day of liberty but then it seems that when God delays in fulfilling then doubt and embarrassment creep in.  It is in those moments that he delays that I wonder if perhaps I should not have spoken so boldly, perhaps I should have kept silent about the Word and Promises of God.  If I had but kept my mouth shut about that which God spoke to me, then when he didn’t fulfill then I wouldn’t be embarrassed.  But then I am reminded of Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it…”  It doesn’t matter whether we stepped out in faith and spoke the Word or whether we kept it to ourselves, God WILL perform that which he promised.  So though you might feel a bit foolish in the delay, be confident of God’s faithfulness and wait on Him.